Book Reviews

Date Daily – Book Review, The Perils of Cyber Dating


Book Review, The Perils of Cyber Dating
By Julie Spira
By DateDaily Staff

Online dating has become the norm for many people seeking a soul mate. With full-time jobs and the like, it’s hard to devote every weekend to finding the perfect person. That’s why Julie Spira wrote The Perils of Cyber Dating.

The book is so interesting you’ll probably read The Perils of Cyber-Dating in one day. From the second I picked it up, I knew it was going to be an interesting read. I was sucked in right away – Julie Spira has a way of describing her experiences that makes the reader feel like they were there with her, experiencing her feelings. You’ll laugh at times and open your mouth in amazement at others.

Although Julie Spira offers up a real-life guide to help others who want to get their feet wet in online dating via stories that might send others running in the other direction, her objective is to help readers hone their skills on the World Wide Web and come out unscathed.

Having experienced over 250 dates in almost 15 years, some marriage proposals and a divorce to boot, Julie Spira takes readers on her journey, which started in the mid ‘90s.

From The Investment Banker to the Plastic Surgeon, Julie Spira allows us to be that fly on the wall as she vividly describes her dating experiences. But that is not all Julie Spira does; she also provides us with her “Rules of Netiquette.”

Some of the Netiquette rules include:

The Google Rule – Don’t tell your date that you did a Google search before the first date – She was Googled by a date and learned more about herself than she even knew.

The Body Parts Rule – Don’t discuss body parts – one date went into great detail about a colonoscopy that he had while they were eating lunch.

So if you’re a single looking for love online without much success, use Julie Spira’s The Perils of Cyber Dating as your guide to get over some of your worst dates and to look at online dating as an adventure, rather than yet another chore.

Highly recommended for both men and women.

Chicklit Club Book Review – The Perils of Cyber-Dating


The Perils of Cyber-Dating – Julie Spira

Two failed marriages, four engagement rings and more than 250 cyber-dates . . . Julie Spira brings to us her memoirs of her 15 years of online dating and a range of those memorable moments she has experienced, some great and others not worth the effort. For this book subtitled Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online, she has chosen a handful of the dates, telling us a bit about the date and whether it was a success. From the Investment Banker and the Neurologist to the Latin Lover, we laugh, empathise and experience a variety of feelings when we see what Julie went through from being told she looked like a date’s dead wife to being proposed to with skywriting. An amazing read that acts both as a cautionary tale and a witty insight into the highs and lows of dating. (PP) Rating 9/10 Book Review



by Margeaux Baulch Klein –

Author Julie Spira encounters every breed of man in her new tell-all memoir, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online.

Online since 1994, Spira is a self-proclaimed internet dating pioneer, having gone on over 250 blind dates, receiving several marriage proposals and then marrying (and later divorcing) someone she met online. Spira has turned her dating horror stories and romantic journeys – both the good, bad, and, quite literally, ugly – into a witty memoir that every woman whose ever dipped her toe into the online dating pool will appreciate.

For starters, Spira compares a woman’s online dating profile to a real estate listing:

“In real estate, the first week that your house in on the market is important because if it’s priced correctly, professionally staged, and marketed well, it generates a lot of leads. Hopefully a qualified buyer will show.”

She also offers a “Top Ten Rules of Cyber Dating Netiquette” in Chapter 9 that is one of the best parts of the book. Here are a few tips she endorses:


Don’t knock-off more than 5-10 pounds off of your weight or 5-10 years off of your age on your dating profile. “It’s always best to be authentic and tell the truth,” she says, “but anything more than that is just too noticeable. You will find yourself meeting someone who won’t be so happy to see you.” In her list of common profile definitions, she also notes that if a man lists his age as 40-something, it means that he’s a 50-something who wants a 30-year-old female.


Don’t Google a potential date before having the opportunity to see if there is a connection. Partly due to her own embarrassment over a New York Times wedding announcement that she wishes didn’t come up when people searched for her, Spira believes that it’s too easy to misconstrue or jump to an incorrect conclusion about a piece of informationwithout knowing its context.


A man should not suggest sharing an appetizer on the first date, nor should he meet his date for coffee without the intention of ordering a beverage.” Spira hates cheap men.


Don’t discuss ex-boyfriends, ex-husbands, or anything to do with body parts, extramarital affairs, and long lost loves on a first date. Spira declares that information should be rationed over the course of getting to know someone.


Don’t cyber-fight. Although it’s tempting to hit ‘send’ and launch an angry missive into cyberspace, Spira recommends sleeping on any upset or hurt feelings. “When in doubt, pick up the phone to get that real connection,” she says.

Even after two failed marriages and four engagements, Spira believes in remaining a “hopeful romantic.” She is still in search of her happily ever after.

For more info on The Perils of Cyber-Dating, visit

Click here for full review

Book Review – The Perils of Cyber-Dating


Looking for Love Online? The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online, is just the book you need to take from the city to the beach this summer!

Julie Spira dishes it all as a hopeful romantic looking for love online. From her fabulous Rules of “Netiquette” that map out what men and women say vs. what they actually mean, to one hilarious story after another, she has mastered it all in a few clicks of her keyboard. This tell-all memoir spans over 250 dates in almost 15 years online. It’s a must read!

~ Matt Titus and Tamsen Fadal, America’s Love Experts

Book Review – Armchair Interviews


The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online

by Julie Spira

Published by Morgan James Publishing, LLC

Reviewed by Laura Cococcia

In today’s Internet age, many of us can relate to Julie Spira’s online dating adventures. However, while there have been numerous books and online resources written to cover this trendy topic, Spira’s new memoir, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online clearly stands out from the rest.

Undoubtedly, this is one of those books you can’t put down. Reading Spira’s stories – all organized by chapters of a particular date set up via the Web – are simply funny, enjoyable and relate to women and men alike.

While clearly an online dating expert, Spira’s writing style is also sophisticated. From each story’s beginning to end, she sets the scene, shares the details of her characters and shares herself with honesty and humility. She ends the novel with the introduction of the Blackberry and its evolving impact on dating life. Any reader into the e-scene could only imagine a “part two” of Spira’s stories – one that includes the many ways we now electronically connect with people globally – and then date them.

It’s also important to note that Spira is dedicating 10% of the proceeds of her book to the Step Up Women’s Network, a national non-profit membership organization dedicated to strengthening community resources for women and girls.

Whether you are dating now, considering jumping into the online dating pool or just want a fun read, Spira has something for everyone.

Armchair Interviews agrees.

Santa Monica Daily Press Book Review


April 04, 2009

More people are doing it now — going online to find mates. It can be a dangerous area to surf in. You don’t know what you are getting nor how truthful those profiles are.

“This book is not intended to scare or discourage anyone from online dating. It is a real-life guide to embrace and navigate the World Wide Web with fun and entertaining stories.” author Julie Spira writes in the introduction. 

She states that there are over 40 million singles now online seeking love. It is not always what you see is what you get. “When choosing to go online in search of love, the most critical challenge is creating your online profile.” It seems that most people will fudge on their details. “I used to be honest about my age,” she admits, “I sometimes found myself cutting off a few years to fit into a search. It seems that is the unspoken rule for most women online and men now expect it to be the norm.”

Spira provides us with her list of dates she had through cyber dating. With over 250 dates in almost 15 years, a few marriage proposals and a divorce from a person she met online, she has experience to choose from. Some are humorous and some are fairly sad. She is still single but wiser. She started in her 30s and into her 50s, on and off. 

She admits she was one of those early adapters to the scene. She started in the mid-1990s using the online dating possibilities offered on the Internet.

She sums up her reason for writing this book. “I have learned a lot throughout the course of my nearly 15 years of on-again, off-again cyber-dating experiences. While some of these memories have faded, before sending the others up to Internet Heaven — which is my version of the trash icon on my computer where I send my bad cyber-dates to with a one way ticket, I’ve decided to share them with you.”

In her accounting she lets us share in her dates with The Architect, the Neurologist, and the Plastic Surgeon. In between there was the Art Dealer, the Boy Next Door, The Investment Banker, the Drummer Boy. That is just to name a few.

She also gives us some rules of “Netiquette” we should follow if we are inclined to use the Internet for our dating pool. “We are living in the information at your fingertips mode as the Internet has become part of our daily lives, and we can find out more than we probably want to know.” 

She therefore advises you don’t “Google” your date before the first date. One of her dates did and it was a disaster. She found out more about herself than she knew was out there. Also don’t discuss body parts on the first encounter. She had one person she dated who gave her the details of his colonoscopy between the entrée and the dessert. When it comes to your profile there should be a cut off rule of five to 10 years on your age and five to 10 pounds on your weight.

Not all cyber-dates were disasters. 

This book is a must for this generation of singles, both male and female, who are into cyber-dating. It is possible to find someone if you know the rules.

Copyright © 2008-2010 Cyber-Dating Expert® · All rights reserved~Do Not Duplicate · Cyber-Dating Expert, LLC